You Should Take It Personally
Is the success of your business really personal? Don’t you wish more people realized that?
Are you tired of feeling like all the emails you’re getting are just ways to extract more and more money from your wallet?
Me too.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m in business too, and I know that what I can teach and do for you is worth investing in.
But I get the feeling that most of the people who are trying to help you succeed online are not really taking this as seriously (or as personally) as they should. After all, it’s your life and family at stake here.
This past week, I had several experiences that hit me over the head on this subject. This is kind of a rant, but I hope it helps you see the shift in my thinking that I’ve been needing to make. And it perhaps makes you think about keeping what’s important to you front and center.
The biggest was the splash that my brother made at the NAMS event in Atlanta. He was a big hit there – and not just because he’s my brother. I know that his sense of humor and excitement for his growing business stands on its own.
It had been about 5 years since we last saw each other – which is way too long. Spending time with him, and seeing how internet marketing can truly help him reminded me of how important it is to me to help him succeed with his online business. His son and daughters (my nephew and nieces) depend on it. And he’s depending on me to make sure he gets the right information at the right time.
I also know he’s counting on me to be there for him now, like he was there for me when we were kids. We joke now about the practical jokes (like when he loved to serve me a grilled cheese sandwich with the plastic wrapper still around the cheese). But he was a great big brother.
So when I teach my SIMPLE system and various internet marketing lessons, they must pass the “Jim test”. If what I’m sharing can’t make a difference for him, or if I would feel weird recommending a tool, service, or program to him, then I simply won’t do it.
I don’t talk about it much, but I have a pretty weird family. Having my brother attend his first event, watching me “do my thing”, and meeting so many awesome people in my life was awesome. And it reminded me that succeeding in my business really does impact a lot of other people, too.
Another epiphany I had came during my own mastermind meeting in Las Vegas the 2 days before NAMS. It was the first time that I had been on the “hot seat” (Adam calls them profit seats), where my business was under the microscope of 20 other peers. I love this group because it has such a wide variety of people in it. But many of them are coaches, and they have their “BS Detectors” turned up super high.
Within a few minutes, a couple of them had shattered the exterior issue I presented to them, and had me dealing with things much deeper under the surface. Among other things, they helped me realize that
a) my ability to connect with people in person was not transferring recently to my online training, and
b) I’m at my best when I’m vulnerable and relaxed – having fun and being the quirky geek that I am instead of trying to fit some external expectations that don’t feel natural.
This was not easy for me to hear. In fact, it was completely unexpected and emotionally draining. I do a pretty good job of keeping personal stuff at arms length, because I’ve been practicing it for about 30 years now. This past week has helped me realize that it’s not only hurting me, it’s hurting my ability to help you as well.
Thanks for letting me share this with you today.
I hope you remember to take what you do personally, and recognize how much what you do means to the rest of us.
Bob
p.s. Special thanks to Nancy, Therese, Judith, Jim, Jamie, Therese2, Patti, Lis, Debbie, Kathy, Adam, Bo, Heather, Bobby, Scott, Nicole, and many others for shaking the tree for me this week.
46 Responses to “You Should Take It Personally”
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| Bob Jenkins is an internet business marketing teacher, with ten years experience teaching teenagers and teachers. He is the creator of several online training courses that teach you how to get better customers and increase your profits. Specializing in social networking strategies for business and creating information products from teleseminars, Bob can help you use internet marketing tools and strategies to promote your business online. |
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Hey Bob,
Thanks for getting “personal”!
I thought you WERE being the “quirky geek” :)
You mean you’re quirkier and geekier? OMG!
Bring it on, bro!
Howard
Good luck in Feb.!
That goes ditto for me too.
Nice article. I suppose it brings one back to earth.
All the best for a very different 2010
Mike
I happen to like you as the quirky geek.
I’m interested to see how this will change your presentation – what you will do to bring in more of YOU.
Video?
Do not underestimate the power of personality – and its impact on your profits!
Hey Mel – definitely more video, likely on Ustream. And I’ll also be having even more fun at live events, in my courses, and here on the blog.
Your post is inspiring and thoughtful. I appreciate what you have written here and will read on and aspire to learn from you. I am “breaking into the business” and know I have TONS to learn. My hope is that you are sincere and you will continue teaching.
Thank you Barb! And no doubt I will continue teaching what I know will help others. But I’m committing to do a better job of making sure more people realize that I’m rooting for them along the way, too.
Bob – Great job of taking in what you learned – even if you didn’t want to – and putting yourself out there. We love you for it. Keep it up.
Warmly,
Lis
Thanks Lis for being part of that transformation at Adam’s as well.
Once again, Bob… simply profound. And, they were absolutely correct – you (along with most of us), are at your best when vulnerable and relaxed. You are a great teacher, and I’ve always appreciated when you share from the heart.
Many thanks for being true to you… your advice and encouragement is welcome and very timely for me.
Thanks Bob, your story has a strong resonance for me. I have not seen my brother in over 20 years and if I met him, not sure I would recognize him, nor him me. Long story…. But what I understood from your story is the absolute priority, at least for me, of being authentic in all that I do. It is personal, and yes, I am at my most vulnerable when I’m tired, stressed. My martial arts teacher used to say I was at my best when I was exhausted because all my defenses were down. I was my most authentic because I wasn’t trying to live up to expectations and create a ‘brave’ face. We all need to keep that in mind when we’re presenting. It’s the honesty that touches hearts. Thanks for sharing yours.
Thank you Jacqueline – and I know how much more I have to learn. I simply can’t wait until SIMPLE so I can experience your gifts as a story teller and a fearless catalyst. Although I knew pretty quickly how much you would help my audience, I’m realizing now how much I’ll benefit from your session as well.
Bob
Excellent, Bob. The more genuine we are, the stronger the connection to others.
Combine that with your knowledge, your energy and your eagerness to help, as well as your generosity – all of which you have in spades, and you’ll be an even more powerful force.
Bruce
Bob –
Thanks for sharing this. It was awesome to see you again in person and to meet Jim. I’ve been learning similar lessons over the past few months and it is amazingly refreshing to stop trying to live up to other people’s expectations and to just be yourself. This past weekend was the first time that I was actually “myself” around relative strangers in a very long time…so long ago that I really can’t remember the last time.
When we made the shift from the “job” to working from home on the internet, a lot of the personal got lost. Thanks for recognizing this and inspiring us to add more of who we are to the mix.
See you in a couple weeks!
~R
Bob,
I read your post with great empathy because I struggle with the same issues. Thanks for writing about them. You’re a stud
David
BigTomMovie.com
The best post I’ve read in a long time and I’ve read my share. I wish every blog had at least one personal and honest post like this one. It’s rare to get a sense of the person behind a website and their authenticity. My interest is in personal development blogging and although I still need to market myself, my IM days are kind of behind me.
Yet, I’m here because Bob the Teacher is a life teacher. This post and the content on this site have definitely met my standards, the “David Test.” Breakthroughs don’t always feel good, but the reward is well worth it in my experience. For the record, I know you’ll change for the better, but don’t change too much.
Hi Bob,
I love what you said because I’ve been feeling like that for a while.
What I mean by that is, I have been looking for someone who would talk
to me just as if they were sitting right beside me. Talking straight up.
I’ve been following your emails for probably a year now and my main
problem is getting side tracked all the time! I have tried to complete
your 30 day Challenge twice now, and still haven’t done it. I need
someone to grab hold of me and make me Finish what I Start.
I am trying and will continue to try because you always came across to
me as being sincere in the words that you write, and whenever I see
an email from you I take the time to read it.
I believe if I dedicate more time to your mentor-ship I will get further
ahead at a much faster speed.
Sorry for writing a book but I just wanted to thank you for shooting
straight from the hip.
Looking forward to moving forward.
Laura
Bob,
AWESOME man!
Great thoughts, perspective and transparency.
You’re taking integrity to an even higher level.
Thanks for your example.
Peace,
P
Hi Bob,
This shows what a great teacher you are – learning something new to improve yourself and immediately sharing it with us so we can also learn from you. I can’t wait to see the “quirky geek” in person at SIMPLE.
Debbie
Glad you’ve decided to shine even more. You always have to those of us that know and love you, but the rest of the world now gets to see it, too. You’re too stinkin’ charismatic to be holding back. Watch out world!
To quote the great speaker, Aileen Bennett, “Be You. You are Amazing.” And you are.
That really sums it up… I really like that perspective and so true.
Social comments and analytics for this post…
This post was mentioned on Twitter by bobtheteacher: hot new post: You Should Take It Personally http://bit.ly/9aziSi…
Bob,
This is a good thing. It is easy to lose the personal touch online. People connecting with thousands of others that they call “friends” but in truth they are not. There is a lot of talk about relationships in the social and internet marketing arenas but in my experience most are one-way.
I hope you start a trend to bring back the humanity.
Darwin
Bob,
Great post. I wish more internet marketers took it personally and got real with people. I, like you, get tired of emails trying to sell me something.
Yes, we all have to sell our products, but we really need to care about the people who are buying them and if it’s something that will really help them. If not, we shouldn’t be selling to them.
I liked what you said about the “Jim test.” That’s a good way to test what you are recommending.
Thanks for sharing with us!
I really enjoyed your blog, Bob. What really struck home for me was the fact that you have to be vulnerable and exposed. That is not easy – and not comfortable. But in being uncomfortable, we are able to get out of our own ways and let things happen.
I have tried to be authentic in my business, but I believe I’ve gotten away from vulnerable. Too often we equate vulnerability with weakness. That is so not true!
Thanks for the wake-up call. I’ll begin tomorrow to see how I can be more vulnerable. One way to do that is get back to my blogging. After all, my family depends on it.
What a wonderful post, Bob – and what amazing ‘lightbulb’ realizations you had!! Thanks so much for sharing them with us – that sharing was way more vulnerable in and of itself! Awesome! Can’t wait to hear about all the great stuff that comes out of your event – especially now that you’re all opened up like this!
I know exactly what you mean about holding back, too. We were just talking about this at SSWT. I’m so busy trying to be ‘what I think I need to be’ on my blogs …and then one day, I’ll be tired …or just at my wits’ end – and share – and people will COMPLETELY love it!
Oh! It was me – the real me – that was AMAZING! Not that ‘manufactured Lisa’. How many times must that lesson be repeated to me?? *shakes head*
And it’s not really even a manufactured Lisa – I guess she’s just kind of “embellished” or something.
Hi Bob,
Very honest and very ethical. I don’t think that anyone who has experienced first hand contact with You would expect anything less. We are all human though and all have to give care and keep watch for those little things creeping in from time to time.
When identified, all be it sometimes with a little help from our friends :-) Atleast we can then take store and react appropriately. Good thing – constructive critisism.
Kindest Regards
Graham Price
Bob,
That’s the best part about a mastermind. They are “outside” looking in and see things from a different perspective. I have to admit, I think they are right on and I can’t wait to see how you implement their suggestions into your repertoire.
One of my favorite trainings from you, was a while ago, but you were talking about the tools and how you set up the backend of your business. From managing things and such. It really helped me.
That really is one of the things about this industry “Internet Marketing” that isn’t taught a whole heck of a lot. Yes, there’s plenty training on how to market and different methods, dohickeys and dodads, but not too many actually teach you how to keep track of sales, and payouts and business structure.
I ramble on, but I wanted to say congratulations for having the opportunity of being in the “success seat”. Also, wanted to say thanks for that training, maybe a few years ago now!?
– Michael S. Copeland
Yay!
I’m so excited you’ll be allowing more people see the real you I have had the honor and pleasure of getting to know the past couple of years.
Authenticity is exactly what draws people to you. Coaches aren’t the only ones with BS-meters cranked up to high. Customers (and prospects) sense BS a mile away these days. Which is exactly why the “Jim-test” is a perfect way to tell if you’ll be communicating the message you want to.
The more you present the true you that you bring with you to private conversations at live events, the more and more you’ll continue to grow, my lovable quirky geeky pal :-)
See you soon!
Felicia
PS Isn’t that what I’ve been telling you all along about speaking?? Ok — just sayin’
Anyone experience anything about the easy google profit kit? I discovered a lot of advertisements around it. I also found a site that is supposedly a review of the program, but the whole thing seems kind of sketchy to me. However, the cost is low so I’m going to go ahead and try it out, unless any of you have experience with this system first hand?
http://www.onlineuniversalwork
Bob,
I’ve been following you for some time and enjoyed learning from you and have always felt you were ‘the real deal.’ You know yourself better than anyone else and honest enough to recognize and appreciate when others point out where improvements need to be made. I’ll continue to follow your work with keen anticipation to see how this is reflected.
Thanks for uncovering your thoughts and emotions. You are a great example!
Hi Bob!
We’d love you to be more transparent and personal! I think people appreciate it much more when people are open, honest and transparent. Not that we don’t like your training…we do. It just gives it that personal touch when you share more…personally! :)
Bob,
Thank you for reconfirming how I have been feeling about my new business/blog. I’ve had trouble in past efforts generating the passion I felt I needed to put together what I knew to be a good offer to my readers and customers.
Between Lynn Terry, Paul Evans and you, I am at a point where the passion and focus I need to be successful is there, and I hope it will show in what I do.
If you don’t care, it sticks out like a sore thumb!
Jerry Nielsen
Online Transparency is the new social currency. People are wiser than ever online and if they get even a hint that the whole story isn’t there then you’ll never fully have their trust. I for one am glad to see you step into your light in this post Bob. There’s a major shift happening in online marketing and you seemed to have gotten it.
Thank you for opening up and allowing us to see you…for real :-)
Bob I’ve been watching you and learning from you for 3 years now and I’ve stuck around because you are a genuine guy who doesn’t hype thing up and plays it staight. You offer sound, great value, step by step help and you are insightful.
I have learnt a lot from you and have no hesitation in recommending you to people, there is no cringe factor at all. Your honesty and integrity are like a breath of fresh air.
Bob,
Thanks for a very thoughtful post. Like you, I just returned from Atlanta and was surprised to learn that my sister has just been laid off from her job. She wants to create something she can do from home. In talking with her, I found myself wandering where do you start with someone who has no clue about Internet marketing. So reading about you and your brother was very helpful.
It is not an easy time on the planet. Many of us are trying to be a resource for others while building our own businesses. So keep showing us the way. Thanks.
Marcia
Hi Bob,
Enjoyed this post. Hot seats or profit seats should include feedback about the talents those folks see also. Otherwise it is not an effective tool, in fact it can become very counterproductive. It has been harder for me in the past to hear about the gold than the chaff. Would love to have watched you and Jim, and tell me more about NAMS. Developing some ideas to promote your products soon. Mike Logan
Bob, it was great to meet you at the NAMS seminar in Atlanta!
I was so impressed with how approachable you are….
How you would stand in the hotel lobby patiently listening to many people asking question after question…
You really are at your best in that casual setting… and people are really drawn to you…
Happy that you are realizing that you don’t have to be anything different when “presenting”….
I’m looking forward to watching you continue to grow and prosper!
Suzanne Holman
hey Bob,
From what I know of you, you are an amazing person. So, I look forward to seeing more of you come across in your marketing and in your products. Even more great things coming your way!
Talk soon,
Shannon Herod
I really loved the article. And without being mushy really love you. I’m also extremely proud of you.
Now lets get this party started Mr.
Jim
A quirky geek WITH a personality … best of the breed!
Honesty and transparency equate to ethical and integrity in my book.
Way to go, teach.
Bob, thought stopping article. For us guys it is hard to be open and vulnerable, thank you for your over-the-top honesty. IMHO you have always been upfront, forthright, and honest in your teachings. It DOES shine through. I can hardly wait for the ‘new and improved’ Teacher Bob to emerge.
Onward through the snow.
O.
Dear Friend,
It’s a fact: if you want your website to make you money, generate leads or get subscribers you have to advertise in order to drive traffic to it. Of course this is true for any business, but it is absolutely essential for online business.
http://www.onlineuniversalwork.com
Wow! Thanks for the insightful post, Bob! I sometimes struggle with some of the same issues, and I’m just getting started! (If you can call blogging for 4 years getting started!)
I wrote for years what I thought people would want to hear and it’s interesting… When I wrote “from the heart” and not “from the mind” that’s when what I wrote seemed to get the most response. Go figure. It’s in those vulnerable times that we share with others that we connect with the people on the other side of that screen. :)
Thanks for the reminder!
Hey Bob,
What an awesome and thought provoking post! And, as if to emphasize your point – look at how many comments and tweets it’s collecting? There’s a lesson in there for all of us.
It was great meeting both you and Jim at NAMS. 5 years apart…? I’ve had my share of being apart from family, so I know how much that sucks (and really should not be done).
I think you’re definitely on to something with this “open and honest” approach. In fact it is something you have in common with Lynn Terry, and just look at how loved and followed she is.
Good luck at SIMPLE! (wish I could be there).
Finally, I would like to second my fellow ‘Nicole’, quoting ‘That Speaker’: “Be Yourself! You’re Amazing!” – and if you are ever in doubt of that – just look back at some of the comments on this post, that should remind you :)
Thank you for this post, it has touched me.
Nicole Barkai
hey, Bob!
If we don’t take it “Personally,” who will?
Great post., thanks for being real… as always!
Heidi Richards Mooney, Author ~ Quirky Marketing Calendar ~ How to Promote Your Business 365 Days a Year using Zany and Non-traditional Holidays.